Seasons
by amazonian rush
Summary: TAKARI The bride's pining for someone. But he's not the groom. Will he come back? Hopefully. COMPLETELY REVISED
1. the spirit of childhood

**Seasons**

_Note: Yes, this is a revised version. Hopefully better, yeah? : ) And all disclaimers activated.  
_

* * *

Sweats trickled down her cheeks as she bounded her way to the park, her hair flying around her head. It was not a brilliant idea to be out and about during autumn, but the situation demanded her to be lashed by the harsh wind. Her eyes roamed the park wildly as she paused now and then to catch a long, reliving breath. Under her breath, she swore madly at the fallen leaves that were blocking her vision, especially the few people sheltering in the park.

"Hikari," someone whispered her name. Blissful relief soaked her and she bounded over to a spot hidden by shadows.

"What took you so long?" the same breathy voice whispered again as its owner placed his cold fingers gently on her warm, flushed cheeks.

"My damn, damn brother!" her voice echoed in the nearly empty park. Her newfound companion hushed her and she continued with a whisper. "He was bossing me around, here and there, dropping stupid hints about you and me, luckily mother's a little deaf, and so she only shouted at him to speak louder! But then, that was a bad thing, since I had to talk louder than him to drown his you-know-what speech-"

"I bet you completely drowned his voice," he smiled slightly.

His sudden smile made her breathe her next words. "Well… You know how I can be when, when I get panicky-"

"I do," his fingers gently brought her face closer to his. "I believe I do."

And when his lips softly melted hers, her panic thawed along.

* * *

A five-year-old Hikari Yagami was getting really tired. Her brother kept fussing over her, and she hated it with all her heart and soul, like how her kindergarten teachers kept telling her to sing the national anthem.

"Hikari-chan! Where are you?"

So she ran away, just like a bold, and rather idiotic, little girl.

A defiant five-year-old Hikari hugged her knees, scared of getting caught by her brother. It scared her more to be alone under this big, big and dark, dark tree because her friend, Miyako Inoue (who had this really weird purple hair, which her brother snickered about whenever he picked her up from kindergarten) had just told a very scary story the day before about kids who get kidnapped by fairies because they were naughty.

_What if the fairy comes and takes me away? What if it won't let me go back to Taichi-kun? I love Taichi-kun and dad and mum, I don't like fairies, I don't want them to take me away because I don't think they know how to bake blueberry muffins_

"Hello," a breathy voice murmured into her ears.

She looked up, horribly frightened and stared into a pair of clear, blue eyes. Hikari rubbed her eyes; it hurts her eyes to look at the new pair of eyes. They were blue, just like the naked girls' in the strange magazines her brother collected and hid under his bed, which he sometimes showed to his friends, who came over to their house sometimes.

"Who are you?" she asked slowly as the new boy sat by her in the dark. She liked sitting beside this blue-eyed boy because when the fairy comes, it will take him instead of her because his eyes were blue and hers weren't. Blue eyes are pretty, Hikari thought, and brown eyes aren't.

"Ta-ke-ru," He said miserably, his head down between his legs. "I can't say it pro-per yet."

"Well, _I_ can," She said proudly, delighted that there was something she was more superior than him about, because she felt really envious of his eyes. "Hikari!"

He looked at her glumly, his blue eyes dejected. "That's fantas… fantas…"

"It's fantastic." A cold voice sliced through the building excitement.

Hikari looked up to another pair of blue eyes, this time more piercing and more menacing. She flinched under the newer boy's sharp stare, wishing for her brother, not knowing her wish would come true very, very shortly.

"C'mon, Takeru, get up, Mum's looking for you. Hey idiot! I found your sister!"

* * *

"What?"

A ten-year-old Hikari asked a glaring ten-year-old Takeru, her face flushed from running down the stairs. Her hair was tied into pigtails by her cooing mother, complete with a bright red ribbon headband, which embarrassed Hikari extremely, as it was not cool for girls her age to still wear pigtails, let alone headbands. She was trying to loosen her hair as she waited for Takeru's answer, her cheeks already red from some rouge she had managed to put on before her mother shooed her out.

"We're late. _You're_ late," He said tiredly, leaning into her postbox. Takeru was wearing his idiotic hat, which she had told him repeatedly and tirelessly, made him look like a turtle with two legs. He answered with a teasing attack about her rouge, which made her cheeks redder. But all in the name of fashion.

It was their routine; she would be late, he would glare at her, she would ask why, and he would say they're late, she's late. Lastly, she would punch him softly on the arm.

"C'mon, it's not like us to be early, isn't it? Make a grand entrance, let them applaud us…" Hikari grinned as Takeru groaned. "Anyway, Mum woke me up late and I had to wake Taichi up, which was very difficult, you know he never respond if you just shake him, you have to _sit_ on him-"

Her excuses kept buzzing into his ears as they made their noisily slow way to their school until he admitted defeat and Hikari jumped into the air, victorious for yet another day.

All the while, Takeru's warm fingers would grip hers protectively, like they had always done.

* * *

A twelve-year-old Hikari opened her eyes as a piece of folded paper landed on her desk. She quickly unfolded it, and giggled mischievously. Her fellow classmates, all of whom was still slumped over their desks as their teacher droned on and on, were aroused curiously in hope of something, _anything_, interesting but was in vain.

_I'm bored… Let's get the hell out of here, _the elegant handwriting stated.

Hikari scribbled a hasty answer and threw it at the desk next to her, which sat a blonde who was looking the other way.

_Five minutes, tops!_

Noting his small smile at the corner of her eyes, Hikari's hand shot up into the air, desperate for attention. The teacher stopped her lecture and peered at her student (who was rarely the slightest bit attentive and a common receiver of her punishments).

"Yes, Hikari-chan?"

"Yamada-san, can I be excused to the toilet? It's just that I've a very bad stomach ache since yesterday because my mum made this really tasty muffin and I guess I ate too much, and I can't focus on what you're saying, though they're really very interesting," her classmates snickered under their breaths. "I really want to learn this, err, thing, and I _swear_ with all my heart and soul I'll be back in ten really short minutes-"

The teacher sighed. "Just go."

Hikari winked slyly at Takeru as she stood up and got out of the class. She walked a couple of steps, looked out for scolding teachers and waited impatiently, her feet tapping the concrete floor anxiously.

To her relief, only a minute passed before Takeru strode out of their classroom calmly, his face as usual nonchalantly imperturbable.

"What took you so long?" Hikari crossed her arms, pouting.

"She mentioned something about waiting for you," Takeru bent down, re-tying his shoe laces. When he stood up, Hikari was slightly annoyed by his taller height but his very fit physique didn't bother her slightest. "I told her I don't want to fart in class and she agreed that it was a good idea."

They snuck out of captures from stern teachers and disciplined students alike, although Hikari did have an impulse to knock a passing Ken Ichijouji on the head because he once ratted them out to their teachers but Takeru restrained her unhappily. After successfully dodging unwanted people, they got out to the roof top, enjoying the cheerful spring breeze.

"Hikari," his breathy voice murmured behind her.

"Hmm?" Hikari turned to Takeru, grinning happily as the breeze teased her hair playfully. She noticed his blue eyes were a shade of electric cerulean, much like the blue sky above them. There was never a moment in her life she had ever thought him as gorgeous as then.

"You're pretty, you know?" The offhanded, tiny smile brightening his eyes held her.

Hikari blushed then laughed nervously, looking away from him. "Of course I know."

* * *

At the age of fourteen, Hikari leaned into a shady tree and was given her first kiss.

But somehow, she thought as he devoured her lips, it hadn't felt right. Maybe it was the position, because it was uncomfortable as the tree grazed her skin.

As Hikari shifted her position and pushed him to the tree, she glimpsed someone in front of her and froze horrifyingly.

Among the crowd of people cheering them on, there was one who wasn't cheering. Her best friend, Takeru Takaishi, who was staring at them more detached than she had ever seen him. His cold gaze reminded her forcefully of his older brother, who intimidated her terrifyingly.

Hikari tried to speak, but her mouth was engaged. She pushed Daisuke Motomiya away from her and he fell to the ground with an embarrassingly loud thud. He gave her a confused look but she ignored him, her attention owned by someone else.

"Takeru, look, I can explain-" her voice rang shrilly through the school court, but he was already turning away from her. People turned to stare and she tried to get to Takeru, but they pushed her back, egging her to get back on with Daisuke.

The rain later that day yelled at her and Hikari's first kiss made her feel more phenomenally wretched than ever before.

* * *

One gloomy winter, a miserable autumn, a wretched spring, and even a dreary summer passed before Hikari can look properly at Takeru in the eyes. Daisuke's desperate pleas were ignored and yet, Takeru remained as silent as ever.

On one fine day, the weakly glaring sun had reprimanded her too much and she snapped under the pressure. Hikari decided to go straight to the source instead of asking people if Takeru ever said anything nice about her nowadays.

"Takeru!" Hikari panted as she ran to keep up with Takeru and his long strides. In one year, Hikari heard he joined the basketball team and was quickly rewarded with the MVP title, taller height, fitter physique and, Hikari thought viciously, lots of adoring fan girls. "Why won't you listen to me?"

He didn't answer, staring straight ahead. At least one thing hadn't changed- he was still as nonchalant and hopefully as polite as ever, because she shouted into the misty air.

"Why are you so angry at me? It's not like I kill your cat or something!"

Finally, he decided to grace her with a fleeting look. "I'm not angry."

"Then why are you not speaking to me? This is about the kiss, isn't it? Look, I didn't even enjoy it at all, his lips were so scratchy-"

"Doesn't look like it," Takeru murmured into the cold air, decidedly not looking at her.

Hikari fiercely adjusted her smolderingly scarlet muffler. "No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"You did."

"The point is!" Hikari half-yelled, earning her a look from a passing old woman with basket. "What's will all the big fuss over a silly kiss?"

Takeru sighed heavily, glanced at her slightly then sighed again. "Because, Hikari, you will never learn this one very simple thing."

"Learn what? I've had enough of school to lasts me a long, long lifetime-"

He sighed again. "I'm not talking about that, Hikari."

"Then what?" An exasperated Hikari said tiredly, staring at his broad back, wishing it was winter already so that she can throw snowballs at his prized coat.

"You will never learn how to read people's feelings," he waved without looking at her before striding away from the even more confused Hikari.

* * *

On Christmas' Eve, Hikaru interrupted the Takaishi's dinner by bursting into their apartment like a harassed cop, merrily wished Takaishi-san Merry Christmas, nodded fearfully at Yamato and yanked Takeru out of his warm house into the cold streets of Tokyo.

They walked side by side in silence with only other people's chatters or the cars whizzing by breaking their silence. The streets of Tokyo were decorated gaily for the Christmas celebrations and the silver moon looked on approvingly.

They had spent another season giving each other silence treatments and their fellow schoolmates had given up trying to thaw the ice between them. Meanwhile, Hikari had spent a great deal of time pondering over Takeru's words and even asked Miyako (as she seemed to know everything) about it. Miyako's giggly answer and wagging finger had left Hikari with blushing cheeks and trembling fingers.

So, like the season before, Hikari decided to once again to go straight to the source. Strangely, she was bursting with confidence before she went over to his house but now, alone with Takeru, all of her confidence had vanished weirdly into the thin, cold air. Once in a while, she would take a deep breath, deciding to get it over with but when she opened her mouth, she closed it again.

Like the perfectly polite gentleman Takeru was, he chose to spare her the shame by speaking. "Hikari? You have something to tell me?"

Miyako's cheerfully frank answer had left Hikari reeling and at the sound of his breathy voice, her heart was staggered.

"Err… Yeah," she spoke to the cold pavement. Hikari observed his Adidas shoes before his sigh brought her head up.

"They said Santa's dead," Takeru smiled his usual tiny smile.

"What?" Hikari raised her eyebrows, meeting his electric blue eyes. Heat rushed to her face and her blood pounded through her veins.

Takeru laughed gently. "Finally. What's with the mood, hum? For once, there's some peace and quiet when you're around."

Hikari punched him gently on the arm, noting happily the tight muscles under the layers of clothes. He laughed again, his electric blue eyes brightening.

"It's… Well, it's something important," she murmured, swinging her hands. God, she was dead nervous.

"Are you sure?" Takeru took her hand and squeezed it. Her heart staggered even more.

Hikari forced herself to hold his eyes. His eyes looked on amusedly, chuckling at a private joke. Despite the overwhelming cold, she felt extremely warm. His long fingers lightly caressed her cold cheeks, bringing fervent warmth to them.

She raised herself to her full height and he gently lowered himself to her height as she kissed him.

It was very much unlike her kiss with Daisuke. Daisuke's lips felt rough and coarse, but Takeru's was very soft and warm. She could taste the Coke he'd gulped earlier as her left hand streaked through his golden hair as her right held his neck for much-needed support. She breathed into him, drowning little by little. Heat coursed through her fingers as his skin rested on hers.

Takeru broke off first, staring into her eyes. She tried to breathe properly under his gaze, her cheeks still flushed. He held her in his arms as she was dangerously close to collapsing on the cold pavement.

His eyes smiled. "What took you so long?"

She caught her breath. "Well, I didn't know if you feel the same, and I was very nervous! You know, in case you push me away and I could _not_ live with that, plus Miyako said some very embarrassing things and I-"

He placed a finger on Hikari's lips. "I cannot live without this, either."

And Hikari cast off memories of her first kiss and started claiming to anyone who would listen that this was her first _real_ kiss.

Takeru just smiled on.

* * *

When school reopened, they were already tightly close. Flying rumours and hushed whispers raced through the astonished school like wild-fire and a distraught Daisuke cornered Takeru one day and demanded the truth. Always heartbreakingly honest (and really wanting to, this time), Takeru confirmed the rumour and crushed Daisuke's crush.

Many girls were heart-broken as Takeru's confession walked around the school and some threatened Hikari in the toilets. Miyako stepped in and applauded them, giving them her unnecessary blessing. Slowly, the others followed in her footsteps.

On their first Valentine's Day, Hikari ended up in loud tears.

"It was my fault! I didn't wait and just pulled them out! Now look what they became! I even got a burned finger just for these! It took me hours-"

Takeru stared at the irregular brown-coloured moulds Hikari had tearfully exclaimed as home-made chocolate and smiled to conceal his surprise. Her self-made cookies had not resembled cookies at all; he thought, more like little, tiny bombs. Her loud wail from the cooking room had roused him from the gym where he had been practicing and she had greeted him with his Valentine's Day's present.

Bravely, he popped one into his mouth and exclaimed loudly, somewhat honestly since the chocolate melted in his mouth deliciously. "Hmm, tasty."

Hikari, who was lying on the floor and wailing, stopped crying and looked up with her red eyes. "R-really?"

"Yeah, but I'm not giving you any since they're for me," Takeru smiled as he popped another one into his mouth.

Hikari rubbed her eyes, glaring reproachfully at him. She knew about his honesty track record and simply can't believe his outrageous lie. "Stop lying."

"I'm not. And as an early White Day present, I'll give you this," he kissed her and she could taste the delicious chocolate in his mouth. Hikari had to agree with him and she glowed with pride as the sweaty Takeru sunk down to the ground with her.

He broke off breathlessly. "And for the record, Hikari, you look very adorable right now."

Hikari grinned, tugging his soaked basketball jersey. "Then kiss me again."

"What a demanding girlfriend I have," he murmured on her wet lips.

* * *

Graduation came and went, the day came for the happy couple to finally separate for the first time in their eighteen years of life. Hikari had been congratulated joyously by her proud brother for scoring even lower than he did, but it didn't matter since her eyes had always been set away from the heavy education. Takeru, meanwhile, despite his golden curriculum record and his habit of skipping classes with his ever-obliging girlfriend to engage in heavy lip lock, had came out of high school with brilliantly high exam scores.

A university in France was impressed and Takeru was going to spend the next years of his life in France, albeit without his girlfriend.

In front of him, she had kept a proud, assuring aura while behind him Hikari had wailed, screamed and cried. For once in her life, she had regretted not studying harder even though the idea scared her when she regained her senses.

Takeru had been worried, wanting to decline the offer despite his strict parents urges to accept. He had spoken about it when alone with Hikari and like the faithful girlfriend she was (and going against her wishes like always), she had scolded him for ever thinking to decline.

"Of course you're going!" she had scolded him, reassuring him and depressing her even further.

The fateful day came and Hikari dutifully stood by Takeru as he said his farewells to his friends and family. When her turn came, she evaded his eyes as she hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go, clinging on to him for dear life. He slipped her an envelope, his eyes telling her to open it in private.

"I'll be back," he breathed into her hair. "I hope you'll wait."

"Of course I'll, dummy," she pinched his arm. "I love you, don't I?"

His electric blue eyes smile at her and her blood heated up. "Don't I know?"

It wasn't until his plane had really left the airport before her disapproving mother managed to persuade her to go. It wasn't until she reached the safety of her room, opened the envelope he had given her, her eyes fell on a photograph they had taken together during their disastrous picnic on the beach and read the elegant handwriting on the back did she finally broke down.

_Did you know that I love you?_

* * *

_A/N: Yeah, once again, my Muse forced me to take the old one down and completely, thoroughly strengthen it. Hopefully, hopefully, you'll like it as much as the old one and perhaps, a tad more. : )_

_Songs Listened to: Midnight Skies by the overwhelmingly talented The Perishers and Save Me by wonderful Hanson_ : )


	2. the life with a circus

_Seasons_

_Note: There wasn't much to revised on as this is already good enough as it is and I don't want to take the heart out of the Daikari's (true Takari fan here) romance. There __wasn't any heart in Takari's in first chappie so when I wrote the next chappie, I got this... __intense sympathy to end with Daikari so there's an excuse I can use to chop up the chapters and re-baked! : )  
_

* * *

Day by day, e-mail by e-mail, unanswered phone call by unanswered phone call, Hikari began to forget how it felt to be with him.

_It isn't my fault_, she often reasons with her guilty thoughts when she gets ready for a date. _If_ _he answers my call, just once, it wouldn't be like this… it doesn't have to be like this. _

_I don't want it to be like this_

On her first date with someone else, the heavy guilt flooded her at first. She had to excuse herself for lone trips to the ladies and breaks down in rivers of tears. However, Hikari wasn't a quitter- she had to do go back and brave it through, at least for one night, she reasoned. But as the night went on, merry laughter shared and blossoming intimacy shown, the guilt receded and she enjoyed her time.

As she went on more unpredictable dates, enthusiastically encouraged by Miyako, her black and white life began to colour, and she took up a photography course at University of Tokyo as one of her New Year's resolutions. There, she met her old friends from those festive years at high school, and was pleasantly surprised Daisuke had enrolled there too.

To some extent, she was glad he was there.

* * *

Daisuke flopped down next to her on the grass with a huge grin. She graced him with only a glance and bit into her sandwich.

"Eating lunch alone?" he prodded.

She finished her sandwich. "None of your business, really."

He followed her when she went to throw away her plastic-wrapper. Hikari glanced at him again, sighed and 'accidentally' shoved her hair in his face.

"It is," Undeterred, he grinned, his hair swept back by the cool wind.

"C'mon, Daisuke, we'll be late for class," Hikari murmured.

She ran away from him. He skipped lightly to keep up with her; it wasn't hard, considering his athletic built and her less-than-athletic self, unless you consider shoving other older and heavier women out of her way during big sales athletic.

"Darling, you cannot just leave me like that. We're the King and Queen of UT, remember?"

Hikari had to laugh. Because he had made her laugh when she hadn't for days, she allowed Daisuke to link his arm with hers. She could feel the burning heat of his skin (protected only by one layer of clothing) scorching hers and Hikari was unsettled.

"So what're you doing this Saturday?" Daisuke strutted across the courtyard with Hikari in tow. People turned to greet them and Hikari can't help giggling at the angry scowls some girls directed at her. Clearly, Daisuke was a very famous ladies' man.

"Avoiding you," she chipped.

"Ouch, you hurt me. I thought you love me."

He clutched a spot on his chest dramatically, his face a mask of terror. Hikari laughed again, throwing back her head.

"I did, but then I saw you with that girl from IT," Hikari cooed.

"That's my sister," Daisuke defended questionably.

"Liar, you only have one," Hikari wagged her pinky at him with a grin.

When they arrived at their destination, Hikari tugged her hand from him and entered her class. Their playful conversation didn't have an effect on her as she listened to the lecturer's lecture, completely entranced and forgotten about her minutes-ago companion.

But Daisuke wouldn't allow her to forget him that easily. He was waiting for her when the class dispersed and Hikari got out of the class greeted by a devilishly grinning Daisuke.

"Daisuke?" she was astonished.

"At your service," He bowed theatrically, never taking his eyes off her all the while.

"I thought- I thought you're in class, the other building right?" Hikari stammered.

"I chose to skip a mere disturbance and welcome my future Juliet instead," Daisuke's grin was disarming and her frown soon turned into a goofy smile.

"OK..." she can't help laughing again.

"So really," he shouldered his backpack. "What are you doing this Saturday?"

Her lips curled. "Very persuasive, aren't you?"

He grinned.

It wasn't until Hikari had pushed Daisuke away and reached her own apartment did the conversation finally dawn on and affect her.

* * *

The unanswered phone calls to him slowly halted and the e-mails were rare and far in between. For once after he was gone, Hikari became very busy with college, friends and a swaying Daisuke Motomiya. He stopped plaguing her mind, and she was slightly relived.

Hikari was busy completing her paper work when Daisuke dropped by her apartment. She only let him in because he brought along a vintage wine, his mother's homemade drool-worthy cheese cake and a huge grin that was starting to grow on Hikari.

Daisuke grinned when he saw Hikari was up to her neck with assignments.

"Why are you smiling?" asked Hikari, annoyed.

"You look so cute when you frown like that." He pressed the tip of her nose briefly. The brief warmth from his finger flared her nose.

Hikari stuck out her tongue. Despite it, her cheeks still coloured and she was less composed than before. She took a swig of wine before she continued with her work.

_Get a grip_, she told herself sternly. _This is _Daisuke

Suddenly, Daisuke took her pen from her and began to correct some mistakes. He was so close to her she could smell his cologne. Airy and strong, it was different from his. His cologne had been of citrus and smelled so sweet she bought one herself.

"Your cologne suits you." remarked Hikari.

He grinned, and Hikari felt exhilarated. It was a slow grin, one that began from his lips, to his cheeks and ending with his round, twinkling dark eyes. _Now I see why so many girls fell head over heels for him_, Hikari thought absentmindedly. _It was so maddening to watch that you just… fall._

"And yours you," his grin held her again. _Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip!_

Daisuke bent down to correct some more mistakes and Hikari watched his russet-coloured hair and the tanned skin of his neck.

"Since when you're a smart-aleck?" teased Hikari lightly.

"Since you're here." His grin widened and she had to catch her breath.

"Oh, really? Bet you say that to all girls," Hikari murmured, but continued looking at his face nonetheless.

"And I bet I've never really mean it." His strong features softened. "Until now."

Her cheeks suffused with red, Hikari turned away from him, busying herself with arranging the cushion three times and watering the flowers four times.

Because she hadn't been on one those busy days, thought she needed a break, and because she liked his smile, Hikari agreed when Daisuke asked her out.

* * *

"You've changed." Hikari smiled happily, holding her rose vaguely, her cheeks flushed from all the wine consumed during dinner.

Daisuke looked up from the ground, meeting her eyes. For the first time, Hikari realised his dark eyes were wonderfully expressive and she drunkenly thought it was the best thing in the world.

"Yeah," he grinned. "Just for you."

"Oh?" Hikari chuckled, looking at the pavement. "And why is that?"

He looked up to the dark sky. "Oh, because I figured out you like the quite, calm type."

His careful words stung her a little.

"Glad you know." She took a deep breath to steady her heart and failed horribly.

"I want a chance, Hikari." Daisuke halted, and pulled her to face him. "I won't say I'm sad he went away, because that isn't true. I was glad. I was ecstatic. I thought, maybe, just maybe, you would notice me when he's not around. I still am, and I'm not ashamed to admit."

Hikari caught her breath as the night air blew softly on her face. "Oh?"

His dark eyes twinkled. "And you've changed too. But I still like you."

Rainbows of colours rushed to her cheeks. They continued their way to her apartment in silence, and when Hikari turned to say goodbye, Daisuke pulled her body to him and kissed her.

His lips were rough, and for a moment, she felt as if hers were on fire. They grazed her, silencing her protests. She felt warm all over and had to hang on to him for support. His strong arms were wrapped around her and she could feel his overwhelming heat. She closed her eyes as she was tightly pressed to him and groaned under his attack. She was on a high and she loved every stroke of his lips on her lips, her neck and her skin.

"Goodbye, Hikari," he broke away suddenly, leaving her gasping for breath.

Grinning like a cat that got the cream, Daisuke left.

Hikari wondered how his eyes could be that animated.

* * *

The day after their fifth date, Hikari made her way to Yamato's house.

She sniffed. Hikari had never liked going to Yamato's house; it smelled far too strong of cigarettes for her liking. A bubbly pink-haired woman greeted her and her box enthusiastically, inviting her in.

"Hello, Yamato."

She found him with his feet up on the kitchen counter, devouring instant noodles. He awarded her with a slight nod.

She gestured at the box in her hand. "I just… I just want to return his things."

He raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything. It was the bubbly woman who spoke up.

"Really? Takeru's stuff?" she beamed, taking the box from her. "Gosh, I haven't heard from him for years. Wonder what he's up to."

Hikari could sense a hint of irony in the woman's voice, but Yamato didn't answer. She smiled at the woman, grateful for her presence in the otherwise awkward situation.

"By the way, I'm Mimi." Instead of taking Hikari's outstretched hand, she hugged her. It was a warm embrace that Hikari didn't expect. To some extent, the woman's warmness and her Chanel No.5 perfume comforted Hikari.

"I'm Hikari."

She grinned. "Takeru's girlfriend, right? I remember you from the airport."

"Ex." She took a deep breath. "Ex-girlfriend."

There was one thing she kept that she didn't have the heart to give away or throw out. Hikari hoped it would be the one thing keeping her from forgetting him and her guilt from eating her inside out.

* * *

On the twenty-something date, Hikari invited Daisuke to her apartment.

Protests and doubts swarmed her mind. _What if he tries to do things?_ She thought uneasily as she unlocked the door. _What if he finds me so embarrassing that he just left? _

The what-ifs questions didn't leave her mind until she turned to face him. The moment she stared into his eyes was the moment her mind was blissfully empty. When he wrapped his arms around her, she didn't protest. When he pressed her to him, she had no doubt.

It was his eyes, she thought as she unbuttoned her shirt.

His exhilarating dark eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" Daisuke whispered to her ear, kissing her neck, making her shudder.

She kissed him. It was enough.

It hurts. He was unusually gentle, but it still hurts.

But the thought of Daisuke eased her pain, and she began to enjoy herself.

Later that night, when her wrist pounded softly, Hikari turned to Daisuke and pulled him closer to her.

When morning arrived, Daisuke dressed up and left her, wanting for more.

It was her first time.

* * *

When Taichi went down on bended knees and proposed to Sora Takenouchi, Hikari and Daisuke were there to cheer and applaud him on. When Sora tearfully accepted, they laughed and cheered. So when the wedding invitation came in their post, they went together.

They attended Taichi and Sora's wedding together, giggling and laughing at their private jokes. A few guests glared at them but most shook their head, smiling.

"Young lovers," They said.

"So sweet… reminds me of us."

"Hope Mark and I will be like them, too."

Hikari giggled, her hand hooked with Daisuke's. She drained the last of her champagne and chuckled aimlessly.

It was a wonderful wedding, and everything seemed to go according to Sora's wishes. The bride had bored Hikari endlessly, and she had ended up deserting the bride to the ever-bubbly women, Mimi and Miyako. Instead of helping with the wedding preparations, she had indulged in laughing and making out sessions with the equally-bored Daisuke.

She fanned her face. It was a hot summer afternoon and she desperately wanted to have another glass of champagne.

As if reading her thoughts, Daisuke handed her a glass and guided her to a seat. "Let's sit down, babe."

Hikari giggled, burying her face in his hair. She took in his cologne and felt marvellous, refreshed once again. She looked into his eyes and pressed her lips to him.

Someone coughed. Immediately, they broke off and Hikari turned to face Joe.

"Please tone down on your drinking and, er, kissing spree, Hikari."

She giggled. "Why, Joe, we only live once. Have fun."

His calm eyes gazed at her face, making her flushed. "It's very important for your brother. Don't ruin this for him."

"I'm not." She snapped.

Sensing trouble, Mimi floated down on them in her pink bridesmaid's dress. "Hey, guys." She said breezily, squeezing a sulky Yamato between her and Joe. "Can I have that Hikari?"

Without waiting for an answer, Mimi took her glass and downed them in one gulp.

Fury bubbled in Hikari. Before she could raise her voice, however, Mimi called out.

"Hey you! Cameraman! Oh, Koushiro, lighten up! Was just kidding! Why don't you take a photo of us, hum?"

It was impossible for her to be angry at a happy occasion. She smiled for the photo and wished the wedded couple well.

Sora beamed at her. "Thank you, Hikari."

Hikari punched her brother's arm lightly. "Wake up early, bro."

Taichi grinned. "We'll see."

Despite everything, her drinking spree multitude with the help of Daisuke. Drunkenly, they while away the time dancing and laughing at each other. Hikari sensed Yamato's eyes on her when she whispered conspiratorially to Daisuke about beating eggs, but when she turned; he was actually engaged in a conversation with his fiancée.

It took Hikari by surprise; certainly, Yamato's the handsomer of the brothers, but if _he_ was quiet, Yamato never seemed to be capable of words.

It still amazed her when her brother dropped by her table later.

"So Daisuke," Taichi patted Daisuke on the back. "I've been here and done it. When are you going to, man?"

Daisuke grinned. "Good question."

He turned to Hikari, who held a surprised expression.

The crowd fell silent when Daisuke sat on bended knees, his head tilted up to her. Realisation dawned on her and she started to panic. Something pounded very hard in her and a strange sensation coursed its way through her veins.

'_No, I'm not ready for this… I can't do this… We're still far too young… We just… can't'_

The sun shone on Daisuke's face when he grinned. It was the same grin that caught her attention years back, and it still exhilarated her to watch.

"Baby, you know I love you." he started.

"Really?" despite her nervousness, she teased him.

Her brother stifled laughter and kept a straight face when Sora visibly tightened her grip on his hand.

"I do." His grin widened. She caught her breath when he produced a small box.

He opened it, revealing a stunning diamond ring. The women gasped when it sparkled. Hikari held her breath; it was very stunning indeed.

"Will you marry me?"

Hikari hesitated for a while. Her eyes left Daisuke and glanced at her family and friends. Her brother nodded while Sora beamed. But it was Yamato who caught her attention.

Unlike the others, he wasn't smiling. His arms were crossed, and his blue eyes appeared more piercing than ever. If possible, he reminded her of a certain someone. Nor was Mimi beaming as usual; she was biting her lower lip and forced a smile when Hikari glanced at her.

Nevertheless, they were the one who made up her mind.

"I want a winter wedding." Her eyes sparkled.

* * *

No complaints this time. : ) Only... I remember reading a reviewer for this 2nd chappie who wrote reading this gave her/him jitters. I was touched and decided not to alter much of this. : )

_Songs Listened to: Lovebug by the ever-famous JB, Superman by terrific Stereophonics and the Libertines' Can't Stand Me Now._

* * *


	3. the world and the sky above

**SEASONS**

_A/N: Burned down, rebuilt and refurnished. What do you think? Very much longer, but it conveys everything so it's alright. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. : ) I dedicate this trilogy (or would-be saga) to the boy I used to love, my relentless muse in blue uniform of many years._

* * *

When she was a little girl, like any other little girls, she had already planned her future wedding.

But Hikari was older, and didn't care.

Knowing her sister-in-law, Sora had taken up the job with high spirits and often battled with her own mother-in-law about the colour of the curtains. Mimi had rather reluctantly taken her best friend's side along with her protégé in fashion, Miyako.

Keen to avoid a full-scale war, the rest had stayed at the sidelines. A shaking-his-head Taichi had disappeared from both his wife and mother's sight and thinking he made a wise decision, the others followed suit. Only the engaged couple flitted in and out of the planners' sight, laughingly whispering and drinking.

* * *

When Hikari swung open the door, a man behind the desk growled his congratulations. Her cheeks flushed cheerfully and a sudden happiness surged through her.

"Thank you, Mr. Kawashima," Hikari grinned, bowing slightly. It was unexpected; Mr. Kawashima was more famous for making people cry than happily indulging in others' good fortune. She tried not to stare at the pompous, fat man as he fixed his deep brown eyes on her.

He smiled kindly, "But that does not mean you're excused from your work, girl. You still work! Work, work, work. Work is the essence of life, you jot that down girl."

She nodded. Mr. Kawashima was her boss, and even though he can be a perfect gentleman, his work would always come first for him. He even delayed his own wedding to finish his work on time and the bride eloped with his best man. His answer had been, "Good riddance. Now I can do more work now the bitch's gone! Ha ha ha!"

"Well," he held up a piece of paper. "You're quite popular, girl. An award-winning journalist personally asked for you. You're not having an affair, are you? A nice, passionate little snog before the big day and freedom lost… " he winked at her.

"Of course not," Hikari forced a smile. Really, what did he want with her already?

"Just kidding, girl, don't take it so seriously!" he roared back with laughter. "This bloke wrote that piece about the Iraq War, you know. Did you read that article? No? Well, I guess with a wedding coming up and all… It was good. No, great. Well, personally-"

His phone rang and his hand yanked the phone from its handle, surprising her. "Excuse me, girl. Hello? Oh, she's here! The interview's this afternoon? Oh, I'm sure she has all the time in the world-"

Hikari swore inwardly, but smiled sweetly when her boss glanced at her, winking yet again.

"Well, my office then. You can ask my secretary… OK." He hung up, rubbing his neck. "Well, the bloke's coming in. Thank god he didn't speak French this time. Last time he called, I didn't understand a word he said! Then I told him, nice and clear-" She heard a knock and she thought, thank god. "Oh, there he is! Great, just in time for lunch." He winked at her. "Play nice, girl."

Relived, Hikari turned around with a huge smile as the door swung open again. A sweet scent wafted into her nose, a rather familiar one. The same cologne she was wearing.

He didn't look much difference, except the golden hair was longer and his skin more golden. His clothes shouted luxuries but his electric cerulean eyes stunned her with familiarity. His handsome features struck her even deeper than before.

Something staggered even worse than before in her.

"Ah, Takaishi!" Mr. Kawashima rose from his seat. "Well, here's your girl, boy. Make sure your camera is alright, girl, I don't want you to embarrass me!"

* * *

Hikari honestly didn't expect for her day to get even worse than it already was. Unfortunately, every force on Earth decided to wage a war against her and she was rewarded with the worst luck anyone ever had because when she went back to her desk with her new unwelcome colleague in tow, her fiancé was waiting at her desk with his feet propped on it.

Recognition burned in Daisuke's dark eyes. "What are you doing here?" he spat at Takeru.

"We haven't met for a long time, Daisuke," the blonde answered coldly. Hikari flinched because it painfully reminded her of his older brother. "I believe you're mature enough to be civil."

"Fuck you," Daisuke rose to his full height. "What rights do you have to talk to me like that? Why are you following my fiancée like you own her, huh? Are you stalking her, bastard?"

"He's working with me," Hikari interrupted before Takeru can retort back. Her hands shook and she had to sit down, evading both set of eyes. "My boss forced me to work with him or I don't get to go to my own wedding."

Daisuke swore and Hikari had to agree. Why did Takeru have to come back and make things difficult? She was happy without him, finally able to live without him, but now he's back… Her heart convulsed badly.

"You see," Takeru spoke up rather smugly. Hikari looked up; this was a side of him she had never known. The side of him he never bared to her before. It reminded her of Yamato and how she hated it! "I do have the rights to follow her around, it's work."

Where is the Takeru I loved? She wanted to ask desperately. Has he changed and became a Frenchman? A complete stranger? Most importantly, why? Why?

Daisuke exploded. "Fucking bastard! Where were you when she cried? Where were you when she was so lifeless that it hurts me? Where were you when she fucking needs you?"

Takeru's lips thinned and he didn't answer.

"Well, too bad for you," Daisuke shook his fist in his face. "I got her now and I love her, so does she. So you can pack your fucking bags and leave."

What happened next made her scream.

"Don't!" it was Takeru's fist that made contact with Daisuke's face. She tried to pull him away from Daisuke, but he was too strong. His face violently scarred by fury, he landed kicks and punches on Daisuke. Daisuke responded equally and by the time her other colleagues pulled them apart, the fiancé's and the ex-boyfriend's faces were purple with bruises.

"You watch your steps," Daisuke snarled at Takeru as Hikari clung frantically to him. "If you hurt her slightest… You'll have me to answer to."

"I look forward to it," Takeru smoothed out his clothes and strode out of the office, leaving her more confused than ever.

* * *

Daisuke easily erased Hikari's anger with his annoyingly maddening grin. He had laid out the table and fixed a candlelit dinner (real Italian pizzas and a bottle of Chardonnay) when she came home, intent to give him a piece of her mind. Her annoyance with him vanished when he silenced her protests with his lips and they spent some time on the couch. Daisuke smoothed out her tension during dinner with his merry jokes and colourful stories. That night, they made love and in the morning, there were no more doubts in her mind.

Hikari sauntered cheerfully into office in the morning, crazily intent on putting Takeru in his place. Confident in surviving the days she had to spend with him, the sight that greeted her at her desk did a reality check on her.

"Miyako," Hikari purred dangerously as she slammed her bag on the table. "What is the new girl doing at my place?"

Her best friend peered at Hikari's desk, and then squirmed under her furious gaze. "Umm… I guess someone has a crush in Takeru…"

"Does she not know that this is an office and not a meet-and-date club?" Hikari growled.

Miyako laughed nervously. "Gee, Hikari, you look very scary right now. Why don't you go be scary to her yourself?"

"That's a perfect idea," Hikari agreed and strode to her desk, intent to give the flirting, giggling and winking intern a very large piece of her mind. The sight of the intern's high-heeled feet on her messy desk and her hands flinging her hair back now and then enraged Hikari worse than ever before.

It worsened at the sight of the blonde's coiffed clothes. His _idiotic_ little smile, his _flirting_ electric cerulean eyes, his _irritating_ closeness to the intern…

"Ai, is it?" Hikari slammed her bag on the desk, causing the flirting pair to jump. She put her camera carefully on its own desk and fixed the intern with a glare. "I suggest you waste your time somewhere else. In case you haven't noticed, I've got a wedding I can't attend if I don't kick this man out of this office in two weeks' time."

"Oops, sorry," the intern scurried away, frightened. Takeru glanced at the retreating intern and turned back to Hikari, raising his eyebrow rather stupidly in Hikari's opinion.

"You've never PMS like this before," he said gently.

"Well, earth to Takeru, you actually know nothing about me. Big surprise, isn't it?" Hikari snapped.

"I dare say I knew everything that was to be known about you."

"Oh, yeah? Well, buddy, that was years, centuries, eons ago so the faster you pack up your bags and flee to your beloved Paris, the faster I'll get my peace of mind."

"I believe this spot fits me perfectly right now."

"I believe you want me to literally kick you out."

"I dare to say Daisuke taught you how to talk dirty," Takeru smiled irritatingly. "But I dare say he failed because you embarrassed me."

That was the last straw. With a roar, she flung her bag at him. He ducked as her other colleagues turned to look. Enraged, Hikari threw every tiny bit she could find on her desk and lobbed them at him. She cursed the day he got into the basketball team because Takeru evaded every of her attack flawlessly, without the slightest skin scratched.

"At least I still know one thing, dear Hikari," Takeru said as he ducked behind a plant. "You're still very bad at throwing anything."

"Shut up!"

"_Miss Yagami, Mr Takaishi, what is going on_?" her boss' voice boomed amidst the chaos.

* * *

"With your wedding in just a matter of a few days," Mr Kawashima shouted at her. "Is this how you're going to behave? Is this what they're always talking about? Jitters, or something? Thank God I didn't marry the stupid bitch if every bride-to-be ended up like how you just behaved! I want to sue you in court for the damages you've brought to my office and my good name if not you're going to get _married_-"

Takeru interrupted him smoothly. "I apologise for what we've done sir, for I very much assure you I was the origin of this trouble. I've to say, I was only doing some harmless teasing since we were acquaintance only a few years back-"

"Well, why didn't you say so, Mr Takeru?" Mr Kawashima boomed as Hikari hissed gravely at Takeru, who remained composed and calm. "No wonder you asked for her! No doubt you had something going on-"

"No," Hikari interrupted indignantly. "Nothing at all, we just shared some classes back in high school-"

"Indeed, we had something going on. We were… childhood sweethearts, I dare say," interrupted Takeru effortlessly, smiling at a perilously Hikari.

"Ah, why didn't you say so?" Mr Kawashima laughed heartily. "I knew it! _This_ is why-"

"Boss," Irritated at being interrupted, Hikari cut through. "I have that interview to do so we'll leave now, OK?"

"Sure, sure, and no more lovers' squabbles in front of the clients!" Mr Kawashima accompanied them as Hikari tornado-ed hew way out of the office building with a nonchalant Takeru in tow.

Huffing madly, Hikari refused to look at the blonde as she snapped and photographed her way out of conversations. The pretty young actress they were interviewing asked sweetly if Hikari's married. Hikari replied grimly that she won't if this interview isn't done as soon as possible. The young actress didn't dare talk to her again.

As Hikari stormed madly around Tokyo looking for innocents to victimise with her camera, Takeru wisely avoided awkward conversations. He charmed the influential men and smitten the famous women during the interviews, scoring many juicy bits in the process.

"Did the French teach you how to worm secrets out of people?" Hikari snapped sweetly as they wrapped their works for the sixth day. To her annoyance, they hadn't managed to interview the very last and most important woman in their list, who excused herself with a pounding headache.

"Yes," Takeru said charmingly. "They also taught me how to deal with bratty ex-girlfriends."

Fury burned, rolled and erupted in one second. "Why, you bastard-"

"Ah, talking dirty again."

"Do you love to hear your voice so much?" Hikari shouted her lungs out as people turned to stare in the crowded subway train. "I'll talk and you'll listen."

"As a gentleman, I'm obliged to."

"Well, buddy, get this: you're no longer a gentleman. You're a fucking womaniser with no ounce of pity or heart in you. You're rotten and I know you came back just to irritate the life out of me! Isn't it enough your shadow plagued me all those years? Haven't I suffered badly enough?

All those years, with not a piece of news! You think I like that? Huh? Why don't you run back to Paris now, because you clearly don't care about Tokyo and the people who live in Tokyo?"

"For God's sake, did Daisuke rub off his tantrums on you?" Takeru grabbed her arm, closing their distance. Hikari struggled against him but failed terribly. "Don't you ever think- Oh, I don't have to explain anything since the minute I was gone, you went ahead and date the first man you kissed, the man you claimed to hate and not giving a single though to me. How do you think I feel?"

Hikari slapped him with all her heart and soul. "That's for what you just said."

She slapped him again. "That's thanks for all those years you didn't _bother_ to make a single contact."

Hikari ran out as soon as the electronic door opened. She can't stand a minute longer with the madman.

She hated the day she fell in love with him.

* * *

The next day, nursing a hangover from too much booze from last night, Hikari stumbled her way into the office and to her desk. She plopped down on her chair, relived to be out of the blistering heat.

Not for long as a certain blonde sauntered quietly to her desk. "Hello."

"Oh, please God, tell me that this thing in front of me is because of the alcohol and not reality…" Hikari moaned, closing her head.

"Tough luck, dear," Takeru smiled tentatively, sitting on her desk. Her throat still burning, she didn't bother yelling at him though she really wanted to.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Civilly?"

"Nicely, yeah."

"As long as you don't ask me why humans exist… I can't answer that."

"Nah, not that extreme. Why are you still here? I slapped you in public, I breathed fire at your clients, I threw things at you, screamed at you… Why are you not running away with your tail between your legs?"

"I've to admit it's not exactly the warm welcome you expect from your ex-girlfriend," Takeru chuckled as Hikari glared at him. "However, I do have work I got to do, so I can't exactly run away from anyone at the moment…"

She tried to swallow the stubbornly saddening lump in her throat but failed miserably. "So it's all about work?"

His face softened and his voice lowered that she can barely hear him. From anger, the moment had suddenly swung wildly into awkwardness. She fidgeted with her hair while he answered slowly. "Yes, I've to say so. But I might have come back for some other reason."

He watched her carefully. "I want to see my best friend in a white dress."

"You mean your ex?" she teased lightly, unable to look at him. Did someone switched off the air-conditioner?

"I'll say yes to both," he smiled that tiny smile, barely there but there it was. Hikari used to watch his smile for hours, shrugging innocently when he asked why she was staring at him. His smile was different, his smile was soft. "I might be pushing my fortune here if I ask you if I can be your best man."

Hikari bit her lip but his smile reassured her. Takeru would cause a stir among the guests who knew their history and Daisuke would bite his own head off. But really, as she looked at his smile, it could mend some ties. Hikari can't believe it, but she actually adores the idea of her best buddy giving her away.

And her cooling heart said yes. "I think I can fix something like it."

"I want to make amends," Takeru offered.

"And annoy Daisuke?" Hikari can't help grinning.

"Maybe," he smiled a little bigger and she can't help the soothing of her frazzled nerves. What was it about Takeru that just ease her mind?

* * *

Daisuke blew off the roof that night.

"What?" he shouted and she flinched. "Are you mad, Hikari? Are you crazy?"

"No, I'm not," she tried to touch his arm but Daisuke pulled away. Hurt, Hikari tried again. "I just… I mean, think how awesome it'll be. I mean, now it might not look like it but-"

"You're not marrying us both at the same time, are you?" Daisuke demanded.

"That's ridiculous! Where did you get such a strange idea?" Hikari tied her long hair into a ponytail. She guessed that it'll be a very long night indeed. "I'm just saying, the idea made sense you know, he's my best friend and he just wants to make some amends to you and I-"

"You mean for leaving you?"

Hikari's voice hardened. She didn't like this side of Daisuke. "I don't like that, Daisuke."

"Babe, it's the truth, get over it. You said you love me-"

"I do. I love you, Daisuke, like mad, like crazy, like insane," Hikari smiled, trying to lighten the mood but Daisuke turned away from her.

"Then think about how I feel when the girl I love invites her ex to our wedding and to become her best man. I don't feel fantastic, I feel like she's marrying us both."

Hikari had to laugh. She doubled over, laughing. Daisuke turned to her, trying not to grin either. He walked to her and sat her down on the sofa. Daisuke kneeled in front of her, caressing the ring on her finger.

"I know it was stupid, but I'm stupid for you," he said, melting Hikari's heart. "I love you and that's why I'm so stupid. Can you believe it, babe?"

She leaned her forehead on his, breathing on his cheeks. "I feel like that too."

* * *

But it got worse.

Petty little arguments escalated into full-blown wars and Hikari found it hard to look at Daisuke's face without wanting to yell. Lovely SMS turned into nasty SMS and she had to wonder whether they really can go on with the wedding. They were arguing about very small things, from Takeru to spoons. Hikari hoped it was just pre-wedding jitters but she can't help worrying.

She knew that it all started from the Takeru issue but Hikari didn't tell the blonde (how Daisuke referred to Takeru. Thank god Yamato never comes up in their talks or it'll be very confusing). She was getting more and more comfortable around Takeru and it was to him she moaned her problems.

"Don't worry," his smile would assure her. "You two would be alright. Just try to talk to him."

But talking meant arguing in their home nowadays. Hikari had to admit, their relationship had soured. She just hoped it would sweeten during the wedding.

She really loves Daisuke, despite his trust issues.

* * *

Their very last client was still absent so they spent the days lounging around Tokyo, fearing discovery from Hikari's prying boss. One day, it started snowing and became too cold for them to walk around. Knowing Daisuke's dangerous moods nowadays, Hikari agreed to Takeru's invitation to hang out at his apartment.

His apartment was Yamato's older one before he and Mimi moved out into a bigger one and Hikari was impressed by what the used-to-be dingy and stuffy apartment had become.

"It's nice," she admired the urban furniture as Takeru switched on his CD player. Soft and gentle music flowed out of the loudspeakers, accompanied by a sultry female voice.

"I got good taste," Takeru smiled as Hikari scrunched up her face. "Now, why don't you sit? I'll get some drinks. Alcohol or juice?"

"The French drink in the afternoon?" Hikari was incredulous. She knew they were very open-minded, but not this open-minded.

"No, but since it's your hobby to drink…" Takeru bowed slightly. "I'm just making myself useful. Or maybe I just want to see how you handle your liquor." His little smile egged her on.

"Bring it on, French guy," Hikari took off her jacket, not knowing her white shirt was wet and clinging to her skin. Takeru stole a glance at her and confused, Hikari looked down. The room suddenly became very warm.

"I think I'll just keep it on," Hikari said anxiously, putting her leather jacket back on. She regretted it horribly as it was too warm.

"Great idea," Takeru muttered, sauntering past her. His hand brushed past her neck briefly but she didn't dare look at him. Hikari knew he felt it too since he avoided her eyes with extreme care. Suddenly nervous, Hikari downed her drink in one gulp.

His cell phone rang. Hikari helped herself to the bottle of wine on the desk, fidgeting as Takeru talked on the phone. It was a long time before he hung up and when he did, the bottle was almost finished.

"I made an appointment with the legendary actress," Takeru eyed the glass of wine in Hikari's hand. "She wants to do it this Friday, is that OK with you?"

"Friday… Fine," She traced the glass with her finger.

"You're getting married on Saturday, right?" Takeru said slowly, trying to incite a more appropriate response.

"I think," Hikari poured another drink. She was getting tipsy and her eyes were slightly off-focused. Takeru's hand reached out for the bottle but she grabbed his arm. She suddenly thought she liked the way he wore his blue long-sleeved striped shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his tanned skin.

He looked at her and spoke gently, "Give me the bottle, Hikari. You've drank enough."

"I can handle my alcohol well, can't I?" her fingers travelled up his arms and he stared at her.

"You don't want to do this, Hikari," Takeru said softly.

"You want me too," she purred, her fingers caressing his arm. Enough foreplay, Hikari needed this, she wanted to clear her head, she wanted to be sure, and she didn't want to regret anything-

His mouth took hers and she rose to the challenge.

* * *

"Was it a mistake?" he asked after it was over, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She can't meet his eyes and neither can he.

"Was it mine?" he asked again, quieter.

"No," she answered slowly. "I wanted it. I just… I've wanted it for years, you know? And… And I don't want to regret anything. I mean, because I'm getting married and all and I don't want to cheat on Daisuke because I really, really love him-"

He flinched then laughed.

"You can be ironic, sometimes," he said softly, covering his face with his hands. "You're telling me you love another man when you've just slept with me.

Am I just something to satisfy you, Hikari?"

She was horrified that he would ever say such thing but deep down inside, she wondered if it was true. Had she really used him to crunch her own desires?

Or… She rubbed her hands, trying to ignore her inner peace, something he had just bestowed on her. Or was it something else?

In the end, she proved to be coward. "I've to go," she announced. "He must be worried."

She collected her scattered clothes and sauntered to the bathroom. His fingers reached out to touch her back briefly but when she turned, he was already looking another way.

* * *

There were dark circles under Daisuke's eyes when Hikari returned to their home in the morning. Guilt swallowed her out but she braved herself for the oncoming onslaughts of fiery words.

"Hey," Hikari said breezily, ignoring the stony look he was shooting at her. "What's cooking, baby? Have you been sleeping? Because I want you fresh and young on Saturday."

The brief smile Daisuke gave her was un-Daisuke. It escalated her guilt.

She kneeled in front of him, putting on her very best smile and acting chops, and then held his hands in hers. "What is it, baby? What is it? Why aren't you at work? Don't you have an important meeting today?"

He just stared at her, looking completely lost. Hikari was drowning in guilt when he finally spoke up.

Smiling, he said, "I chose to skip a mere disturbance and welcome my Juliet instead."

It was such a relief for Hikari to laugh! She can't help laughing her guilt out while Daisuke watched her, grinning.

"Do you remember, babe?" he asked nervously. Hikari grinned, patting his hands.

"Of course I do! It's the kind of little things that I love about you," Hikari kissed his hands. "I thought it was something terrible, you've this grave face on…"

Daisuke laughed. "I was just fooling with you. And I'm punishing myself, babe, for being such a bastard to you these few days…" he did that maddening grin that set her heart aflutter. "But I guess I failed. Damn!"

"I'm the one who should do it," Hikari leaned on his knees, releasing a sigh. "I've been such a bitch, I know, I'm sorry baby. It's just work…" she trailed off, remembering a certain blonde and blushing crimson red.

Suddenly, it was uncomfortable to be near Daisuke. Hikari pretended to be adjusting her clothes before sitting beside him, hugging her knees and avoiding his eyes.

"I was worried," his rough voice was soft in her ears. "I knew you didn't come home last night-"

_It's because she was doing some naughty things-_

_Shut up._

"-so I decided to wait. Are you hungry? There're some leftover pizzas," he grinned sheepishly. "Well, not really leftover since I didn't touch it at all. I didn't have an appetite."

Hikari nodded, playing with her toes. She wished he'd go away already, it was too uneasy.

He stood up and she got her wish. "Well, I've got to go, babe," Daisuke kissed her forehead and she smiled. "My boss was being a banshee when I called her this morning." He sighed. "You're the only babe who PMS and don't get angry."

"That's why you love me," Hikari whispered, smiling.

"Yeah," he kissed her lips softly. "Yeah."

His footsteps went away but stopped at the doorway. Hikari looked up, puzzled.

Under the harsh dim light, Daisuke looked more helpless and wounded than she'd ever seen him before. Immediately, she'd to look down again, killing herself with guilt. She can't bear to look at him.

"You do know that I love you?" Hikari looked up to his grin. But it wasn't the same, it was different. It was a mere shadow of its magnificence. It was what she had done to him.

_Did you know that I love you?_

She wanted to kill herself.

"I know," Hikari tried to smile. "I know."

* * *

It took only one look and Hikari knew why she admired Mimi Tachikawa so much.

"I'll do the fitting!" she declared to her best friend and protégé, before gliding her and Hikari away from the harsh public eyes and ears. Mimi secreted them in a vacant dressing room, looked in the mirror, fixed invisible flaw and graced Hikari with her sweet smile.

"You're having an affair," she whispered with a huge smile.

"You're a psychic," Hikari accused her and trying to hide her growing guilt and embarrassment.

"No, I had a couple of pints with Daisuke last night," she danced around me, scrutinising my figure. "You have lost some weight? Shame. And he reckoned you might be cheating. Oh, your boobs have grown. Excellent. You will look hot. So I asked, with whom? He looked at me and I got the message. Do you think I should dye my hair red for the wedding, honey?"

Hikari had to blink a couple of times before she understood the beautiful woman's words. "Oh. _Oh_."

"_Oh_ is correct," Mimi hummed approvingly. "So what about the hair?"

"Oh," was all Hikari could say before she sank into the floor but Mimi cheerfully took that as a yes.

"So are you still getting married? Or Yamato and me will be filling in for you both?" she asked casually.

"What?" Hikari's head snapped up.

Mimi melodiously repeated the question and Hikari was horror-struck.

"Of course we're getting married!" Even though she admired Mimi, there were times the older woman simply confounded her. "It didn't mean anything! I mean, it's just a one time kind of thing-"

Mimi's eyes widened innocently. "Oh, it is?"

And that quietened Hikari's protests.

Although swallowed by guilt, Hikari had to admit she enjoyed it. She had to admit, she loved being in his arms. She loved burying herself in his golden hair. There was just this unique protectiveness the blonde offered her, something that got her crazy enough to do what she did last night.

_I love Daisuke_, Hikari thought as Mimi floated around her. _But what about Takeru? What is it that keeps me wanting to keep him around?_

"I envy you," Mimi sang. "Your first love willing to be your best man. If I ever mention it to Yamato, he would have me murdered… And then he would kill himself, of course, since he kept telling me he can't live without me."

_My first love._ Her heart staggered horribly.

But the anxiety receded.

* * *

The sight of him made her heart did something illegal.

It went aflutter.

"Hey," Hikari kept her eyes away from her. Luckily, Takeru wasn't looking at her either.

"Good morning," he murmured before drifting away to Miyako's desk. Her heart sank slightly as he chatted with a happy Miyako for a long time but Hikari composed herself.

Hikari wanted to talk to him but it wasn't until lunch break and her colleagues fled for the haven food provides before they were alone in the office. She heard his little sigh and his footsteps.

"Can we talk?" Takeru had his hands in his pockets. Hikari's hopes sank; that was a very bad sign.

"No," she held up her hand quickly. "Let me do the talking. First of all, it was a huge, huge mistake. I mean, not to say I didn't enjoy it whatsoever, but… well, I shouldn't have done it and it wasn't your fault. Completely. It was mine and it was the wines' too. It just gets me on a huge high, you know-"

Was that the corner of lips curving up?

"So, really. We don't have to blame ourselves. We'll blame the wines and it won't ever happen again. Truce?" she finally stopped, taking deep breaths.

"Yes," there was that tiny smile again. "To everything."

Hikari laughed nervously. "OK."

Something changed then.

There was some sort of intimacy that wasn't there before that day. When Takeru smiled, Hikari knew it was only for her and not flirting interns. When his electric cerulean eyes observed the office, she got the feeling he was discreetly watching her. Whenever his fingers carelessly touched her, she felt calmer than ever.

And Hikari can't deny it, she actually liked it, but that didn't change anything.

* * *

To Hikari's utter horror, something was wrong with her beloved camera. Armed with most fool-proof camera bag in the market, she sprinted out of the office into the best shop she could find in Tokyo. Strangely, Takeru was willing to leave the legion of his disappointed female intern fans and followed her around the city.

It wasn't serious, thank God! "I'm sorry for dragging you all the way," Hikari began but Takeru interrupted.

"Let me buy you lunch. I want to spend some time with you," he said into her eyes and Hikari, confused but flattered, agreed.

They bought a carton of pizza and a couple of sodas before heading to the nearest park. Choosing the best tree, they laid out their lunch of the fresh grass. The cheery sun smiled down on them.

"Am I going to be your best man this Saturday?" Takeru asked unexpectedly.

"Um," Hikari laid down her piece and rubbed her hands nervously. "About that. I've been meaning to talk to you about it and if you don't mind, maybe you shouldn't… I mean, it can be awkward…"

"Yes," he murmured, not looking at her. "It would be. It's decided then. I'm going back to Paris on tomorrow's night after all."

Her eyes shot straight up. "What? You're going back? So early?"

His electric cerulean eyes laughed. "And two weeks ago you were so keen on kicking me out of the country…"

Hikari's cheeks flushed and she returned to her pizza. He wants to avoid the wedding, she thought miserably. Well, wouldn't it be for best? Then it wouldn't be awkward at all and Daisuke will…

A lump lodged in her throat and she couldn't swallow it.

"OK," Hikari finally said. "OK. Um, don't forget to keep in touch, OK?"

Takeru just smiled.

They finished their meal in silence. As the sun kissed their skin, Hikari drank the sodas hungrily as she watched a gang of kids playing hide-and-seek. It was Takeru's breathy voice that broke the silence.

"Do you remember how we met?" his smile teased her.

"Of course," Hikari grinned, hugging her knees. "You came on me like a lightning, without a warning and all. And you can't say properly correctly!" she laughed heartily.

"I remember you shaking and muttering," Takeru said.

"Oh, well, that's a different case!" she exclaimed as Takeru laughed lightly. "I was five, for God's sake, and it was so dark… In a way, I was glad you were there. You were a snotty boy back then."

"And you were a proud girl who can say her name."

They laughed and Takeru said, "Do you remember what we did during those days?"

Of course Hikari did. There were memorable stuffs, the stuffs that popular romantic movies are made of. She and he were the epitome of childhood sweethearts and they had the perfect, innocent childhood.

If only they could've lasted to this day.

Nevertheless, they had fun remembering really crazy things like stealing sweets from the boys Takeru baby-sit and the hide-and-seek extraordinaire they would play from day to day. Then things got to when they first discovered love and it was then that she felt more drawn to him.

He had taken off his coat and wrapped her in it. She loved how he was still wearing the scent they shared and revelled in it. Takeru's long fingers would brush past her and a weird feeling would surge into her heart. Then his fingers slowly and gently held hers and Hikari didn't want to pull away. The distance between them closed and she could feel the heat from his skin. Her heart beat quicker and she didn't resist when his fingers brought her face up to him.

His eyes looked on amusedly, chuckling at the same private joke from years ago. Her heart thudded.

It was Takeru who kissed her. His lips were memorably soft and warm, just like years ago. Every touch, every taste was better and she leaned into him, running her fingers through his golden hair. He held her in his arms, knowing she needed the support.

"I think you know me after all," Hikari murmured against his lips. He chuckled and she drowned, slowly but surely, in him.

"This is what dreams are made of," was all he replied.

* * *

Hikari didn't meet Daisuke that night. He left her a note on the coffee, though. Feeling overwhelming guilt, her fingers shook as she read the piece of paper.

_Off to do some blasted things. Don't worry, I'll be there to marry you this Saturday, babe._

She managed to go to their bedroom before Hikari sank into the king-sized bed, groaning and hiding her face in the small pillows.

"What have I done?" she kept repeating herself. She had, wonderfully, trapped herself.

How? Oh, by falling in love with an ex-boyfriend and marrying a boyfriend this Saturday.

Hikari eyed the diamond ring on her finger. It was pretty, it was extravagant. So much like Daisuke. Remembering him and his maddening grin, Hikari smiled.

"Oh, what the hell," she declared to the room. "I think I love Daisuke best and I really want to marry him. Takeru…" her voice choked and she took a deep breath before continuing. "Takeru's going back to Paris. To his wonderful life."

Their kiss raised her fingers to her lips. Hikari traced her lips, savouring the memory_. Well, it was going to be the last time_, she decided stubbornly, forcing down her fingers. _It won't happen again and I'm marrying Daisuke. It's set!_

Hikari decided to take a bath, but mid-bath, she remembered what happened in Takeru's apartment. Grabbing a towel, she quickly rubbed herself dry before her imagination went wild. She went to the closet and chose a blue dress that Daisuke loved on her and taking it off her. However, it wasn't long before she decided on a green sweater after remembering Takeru's rolled-up blue shirt.

It went on and on, and by midnight, Hikari was ready to either scream or cry. Deciding she needed sleeping pills that night, her hands absentmindedly rummaged the drawers while she forced thoughts of Daisuke into her mind.

Her hand landed on a photograph. It was the one Takeru had given her before they parted.

_Did you know that I love you?_

Hikari cried.

* * *

Thankfully Daisuke wasn't around to ask her why her eyes were red but when she reached the client's house, Takeru was.

He took one brief look at Hikari and excused himself. He gently brought her into the kitchen, his electric cerulean eyes enquiring her.

"What's wrong?" His hands held hers and her heart thudded. But Hikari refused to look at him. He kissed her hands and it horribly reminded her of Daisuke. "Tell me, Hikari, I'm going mad as it is."

She didn't do anything. Takeru sighed and let her hands go. Hikari was grateful for this. But then, he wrapped his arms around and she could feel his heart beating against her. Hikari didn't know if she welcomed his hug or not.

"Hikari, you're going to be the catalyst to my madness," he sighed, loosening his arms. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Is it…" his breathy voice trailed off. "Is this about yesterday?"

Hikari decided it was enough. She shook of his arms and his enquiring eyes, muttering. "No. Let's get to work."

Emotionlessly, she took photos after photos, not caring whether it painted the subject in a positive light or not. It didn't escape her notice that Takeru's usually composed manner was ruffled but she didn't do anything about it.

The ancient actress was beautiful in her prime. She was perceptive too.

After a lengthy soulless conversation, she smiled charmingly at Takeru. "I see the two of you have issues to work on. Kindly do so before we continue this interview. I will be in the kitchen, brewing some tea."

Takeru murmured something incorrigible but the actress ambled away nevertheless. The room fell quiet as Hikari's fingers fidgeted with her tools.

His arms held her but she refused to look at him. Instead, she murmured. "Why did you leave?"

He took a deep breath before he answered. His breath caressed the back of her neck, giving her warm sensations. "I had to. I accepted the bribery."

"What do you mean?" her curiosity was piqued as her fingers caressed his arms.

Takeru kissed her shoulder, making her shudder. "I didn't want to… but your parents were worried."

"What do you mean?" Hikari pulled away from him, hugging herself. Still, she didn't look at him.

He sighed and she felt him leaving her side. Takeru sat on the sofa, massaging his forehead. "They believe I was a bad influence on you. We skipped school, we made out a lot and you didn't want to get involved in anything without me. They didn't want that. They believe you were aimless, without a believable ambition other than kissing me." He smiled.

Despite herself, Hikari had to smile.

"It wasn't a scholarship. They were sponsoring me to get out of the country and away from you. As far away from you as possible. Then they convinced my parents and my mother suggested France. To them, it was a grand plan. Perfect. I didn't want to but…" he sighed again. "They kept on talking about how I was ruining your future. Destroying your life. Those things. I had to admit, they were right. So I stopped arguing and accepted the offer. My brother was the only one still against it."

Takeru looked up to her, smiling. "He thought you're a bad influence on me. So I argued with him. That's why he stopped talking to me. In Paris, it was hell for me. I used to see you in the streets, in the cafes. I dated a lot of women, slept with many just to get you out of my mind. But I got used to missing you dreadfully. I didn't get used to falling for others, though."

His electric cerulean eyes looked into hers, laughing. "To this day, I love you Hikari."

Her world came crashing down on her and Hikari fainted.

* * *

When she awoke, it was Daisuke's grinning face that greeted her.

"My Juliet," he muttered in Hikari's ears. "You're awake."

And the tears started assaulting. Hikari cried into Daisuke's shirt as he cradled her, humming softly, trying to calm her down. She tried to kill the terrible thoughts of what could have been and felt more awful than ever whenever she heard Daisuke's voice trying to soothe her.

He kissed the top of her head. "Juliet, babe, don't cry. You're making me want to cry."

She giggled into his shirt, sobbing. Hikari buried her head and thoughts into Daisuke's chest, willing him to take her away to some place where she could be alone with him, away from lies and guilt.

It was a good three hours before the tears dried up. Even then, she was only controlling her dam for Daisuke's sake.

"Babe, I love you," He ran his fingers through her hair and she can't help flinching. "I love you like crazy, like mad. I want you to know that. I want you to remember that."

Hikari nodded feebly. His warm fingers wiped away the remaining tears and Daisuke leaned into her.

It was a desperate kiss. His coarse lips grazed hers, hungrily gnawing her tongue. He was violent and she was getting more and more out of breath. It felt like he was trying to take in everything he could quickly. His warmth was scorching her and his strong cologne was drowning her.

When he broke away, he was breathless. Daisuke didn't look at her as he stood up and walked into their bedroom. When he got out, Daisuke was dressed immaculately and slightly tipsy. Hikari watched as he strode to the door, turned the doorknob and looked at her. "I got a bachelor's party to go. Wait for me at the altar tomorrow, Juliet."

His grin was extraordinarily maddening but she wasn't moved. It lingered in her memory for years and years afterwards, how handsome, maddening and confident he'd looked that day.

"I'm stupid, am I not?" He grinned. "The stupidest but luckiest man on earth. You love me. That's very lucky. I still can't believe my luck."

He shut the door and Hikari was left staring at the door.

* * *

Daisuke didn't lock the door and she didn't have any strength left. So it didn't surprise her when someone knocked.

Takeru sauntered to her and kneeled down. His fingers traced her face and his lips softly brushed past hers. "I've to leave," he murmured against her tear-stained cheeks.

"Don't," she almost begged, starting to cry again. "Don't. There's got to be a way…"

"It hurts me to say no," He murmured against her lips, kissing her softly. "I'm sorry, Hikari, I'm sorry. I wish things didn't turn out this way. I wish it is me you're marrying tomorrow."

"I love Daisuke," Hikari cried. "I really do… I love him."

"I know," his voice choked. When she looked up to him, there were tears in his electric cerulean eyes. "But tell me… I want to know… Before I go…"

"I do," she held his hands, gripping them tightly and not wanting to let go. "I love you, Takeru Takaishi. I love you. I know I can't lie, I love you."

"Thank you," he kissed her fingers, one by one.

"But I've to marry Daisuke," she tried to apologise. "I really have to."

"I know," he kissed her lips. "I want you to. He's the best for you."

His fingers slowly pulled away. His presence lingered for hours and Hikari couldn't stop crying.

* * *

In the morning, before the ceremony, Daisuke handed her an envelope with a finger pressed to his lips. He was wearing a mischievous smile and Hikari had to smile.

She was looking forward to spending the rest of her life with him.

"Open it later," he muttered against her neck before the bridesmaids ushered him out. "You'll know when."

"OK." Hikari gave him her biggest smile.

"Babe, don't forget that I love you," he winked before the door closed in on him.

Hikari let out a deep breath. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to remember the hollow feeling inside her. She wanted to forget everything, even though the pain, the loss was hammering thunderously on her heart.

"Don't cry," Mimi's laughter poured into her ears. "I like to think you guys made the right choice. I don't reckon you're going to enjoy today, but do your very best OK?"

Her sister-in-law kissed her and Miyako hugged her. Hikari didn't harbour any resentment against her parents as her mother kissed her forehead and her father walked her down the aisle. What's done is done.

"Let bygones be bygones," she whispered to herself, forcing back the tears.

Daisuke was waiting for her. He was grinning handsomely, a strange addition. He'd never looked like this before. His hands took hers and she smiled up at him.

"We made it," Hikari whispered.

"Yeah, Juliet," Why did he sound so strange? "We made it."

"Do you, Hikari Yagami, take this man as your husband?"

Hikari took a breath and smiled. "I'm here, aren't I?"

The man gave her a reproachful look before turning to Daisuke.

"Do you-" but Daisuke cut him off.

"Wait," he grinned in the weird way. "I've an announcement to make."

He took her hands, still grinning. "I'm sorry, baby."

"What is it, Daisuke?" Hikari murmured but he'd already turned to the crowd.

"Attention, geezers, spinsters, guys and girls," he winked at her outraged mother. "I've an announcement to make. I can't go on with the wedding."

There was uproar. Her mother, in particular, was whispering angrily to her sisters. "What?" Hikari stared at Daisuke confusedly but he held her hand in his calmly.

"I said I can't go on with the wedding, can't you understand that?" He drawled, bored.

"Why?" Mimi was singing beside her, smiling happily at Daisuke. For once, Hikari thought Mimi was on crack. "What's the matter, Daisuke?"

He smiled broadly at her. "That's because," he said cheerfully. "I slept with another woman last night and we're going to elope!"

"Hooray!" Mimi shouted gleefully. Others, however, wasn't as pleased.

"Are you kidding me?" Ken Ichijouji shouted from the back.

"What about the food?"

"I came all the way from New York!"

Amidst the chaos of angry yells and furious gestures, Daisuke brought her away from the public eye. His eyes pleaded with Hikari, hoping for her to understand. He kissed her fingers again and again, his eyes holding her all the time. When he let her go, his hands were shaking.

"You understand, don't you?" his voice shook and Hikari tried to touch him but he stepped away. "You know, don't you?"

"Did you really sleep with another woman?" Hikari whispered.

"As evidence." His grin shook and tears were welling in his eyes. She tried to touch him again, not wanting to see him hurt but he took another step backwards. "Don't. I can survive, Hikari. I'll survive."

"What?" she began but he waved at her, his eyes pleading her to leave.

"Go," he begged. "Go before they find out you're gone. Go before… before I…"

"Daisuke," Hikari tried again. "Daisuke, I love you."

"I know!" Daisuke turned away, his shoulders convulsing. His fingers pointed to a backdoor. "But go now. Go. There are things in the envelope that'll help you. And take the ring with you. I… I don't want it."

"Daisuke, I don't understand-"

"Go!" He pushed her away, his face contorted with hurt and pain. "Go to him. Go to Paris."

She was frozen to her spot. What? How did he know? How could he?

His animated brown eyes, now emotionless, begged her silently. Hikari gripped his fingers, staring into his eyes for a long time. Then the time came that she had to let go.

"I love you," she murmured as she stepped away from the altar. "I love you like mad, like crazy."

He didn't say anything. He was already a skeleton, a shadow of his former self. He only watched as she went, step by step away from him. Once Hikari was outside, she heard a scream.

Daisuke's.

There was a part of Hikari that wanted to go inside. She couldn't bear to see him hurt. She wanted Daisuke to be the arrogant but charming and funny jerk she first met.

But there was the greater part of her heart that soared to the vast cerulean sky.

* * *

_I think there'll be an epilogue and I hope I've written a better chapter. I think I did an OK job, eh? : )_

_**Songs Listened to: Oh! Vanity by the Charlatans and Shy Boy by Katie Melua**_


	4. the dreams we live in

Epilogue of Seasons

_A/N: All disclaimers applied. I extracted beautifully expressed proses from the poems of Gary R. Hess and E. E. Cummings for a better flow of the story. Hope you'll like it. : )_

* * *

"I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses…"

His soft voice was barely heard in the streets of the beautiful city. His heart was sore and he was almost lifeless; only a drop of air and great determination to somehow survive the next few days kept him alive. His handsome eyes were absent of emotions and everything he did, there wasn't any sort of reasonable motivation.

"I do not know…" he breathed to his cold fingers, staring at his frozen hands. It was inviting death to go out into the streets gloveless, much more so coatless. And Takeru Takaishi, only a few hours returned from his hometown, was one of a few recipients of the award.

"I love you much more than anyone on the earth and I like you better than everything in the sky," his murmurs were decipherable only to himself. People pointed, stared and whispered, but did it matter to him? His hair shone in the weak sunlight and wet with the coldness of snow. His heart was dripping blood not in him, but somewhere else, somewhere he can no longer reach.

His heart was lost, his soul was gone and his bones were lifeless.

"My eyes will not see what they longed to see," he tried again and again, buried by the merciless snow. "My lips will not taste what they longed to taste. My eyes…"

* * *

A sultry, purring voice welcomed him.

"It's been very, very long…" A woman, he knew clad only by a blood red flowing coat was reclining at his bed when he returned. Her long, wavy auburn hair was purring for his pleasure and her chocolate doe eyes drawling for his eyes. He shook out of his wet black shirt, not bothering to answer her more than warm greeting. She pouted dangerously, a gleam of vengeance flashing in her eyes.

"Where have you been, boy? It's been long since…" her eyelashes rose beguilingly to him. "Since the last time you were around in my place…" she fingered her hair, her eyes only for him.

She was satisfied when he finally spoke up. "How long have I kept you waiting?"

"Quite long…" Her crimson lips curved. "You've got a lot to make up for."

He answered by leaning in and kissing her on her throat. She moaned hungrily, grasping his golden hair and massaging his bare back. He kissed her shoulder blades, eliciting a low groan from her. His long fingers journeyed from the tip of her toes to her thighs, closing his eyes to her.

_I can imagine she is someone else…_

He buried himself in her long hair.

_It's very easy…_

A drop of sweat trickled down his back.

_It's not hard…_

She growled in his throat.

_It's not at all…_

He breathed in her strong perfume.

_Isn't it?_

"I can't," he murmured in her ears, again and again. "I can't. You have to leave."

* * *

It had been a hard day of slamming the door politely in angered women's faces and steadfastly ignoring calls from friends and 'friends'.

Paris hadn't changed without him. But he had changed without it.

Lifeless, hopeless and aimless. He had nowhere to go, except burying his life in the excruciating pain of loss. If he hadn't followed his feeble whim, if he hadn't gone back… His life would still be worth living.

His rose had been picked from its roots by another gardener. It was enough to want to exile his self. At least, knowing she had been his their last moments together…

The doorbell rang. Curled in a sofa and staring out of the window, he didn't get up. To him, there was nothing worth moving for. The view outside of his window was enough to last him a lifetime.

It rang again. He shut his eyes and vivid images came alive behind his eyelids. The doorbell rang and rang, but he had already slipped into unconsciousness.

Fortunately, the older woman hadn't bothered locking the door on her way out or the newcomer couldn't come in.

* * *

She dropped her bags on the floor with a thud. His eyelids flickered to life, blinking.

There was a scent, a familiar one, crooning the room with its sweetness.

With a voice of a thousand blossoming roses and astonishingly laughing hearts, she called out to the man on the sofa.

"I'm home."

* * *

End

_A/N: Well... That's it. End of the end. I hope you have immensely enjoyed the ride. : ) If you're wondering why I rewrote the story, it's because I felt that I disappointed the readers with my petty offerings and also, because I hadn't enjoyed the Takari romance. It was barely there and I was rooting more for Daikari than Takari... That's my little excuse, guys! Hehe._

_Songs Listened to : Falling Star by Jet and Breathe by Angels & Airwaves_


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